RestlessButterfly on Xanga

Tuesday, 01 December 2009

Listen to the Silence

Scars. Scars internal and external. Pain seems inconsequential. Sensitive. Passive. Raw emotions. Confidence. Determined. Fragile heart. Thrown into confusion. Life seems death end. Don't touch. Don't speak. Don't blame yourself. Stop analysis yourself. Don't judge yourself. Stop punish yourself. Just listen to the plea of silence. Close your eyes. Open your mind.

Pay it no mind
Just loose yourself
Think of nothing
Think of everything
Nothing matters in this moment
Nothing matters but you
Close your eyes
Let the World disappear
Let imagination wander
Search for heart's desire
What do you want?
Become yourself, be your true self
Open your eyes
Face up your soul's fear
Faces up your love, lust, hate
Faces up your unsafely, unsurely
No nightmares, no more nightmares
Let conquer the reality

Sighs in frustrated, cries in despair, but never give up life because God is here for you. Let God be your shelter. Let God guide you. Let God help you because He is here for you, always here for you. Seek Him... and He will show you the way...

*** Sorry if this doesn't make any sense... I guess I just talking to myself. ***

Monday, 30 November 2009

SO, SUE ME!
Honestly I don’t know if I should LAUGHING or CRYING.
Frankly I don’t know either this is TRUE or FALSE.
Help me... I am totally clueless.
Is this just another piece of LIES and JOKES?
Probably it’s just a little bit this, a little that.
Or maybe it’s just a little bit here, little bit there.

I’ve no intention to update my BLOG this week but I can’t help myself because of this...   I received this text message via cell-phone from another XANGAN at 08:19:06pm 30-11-2009.

“Bcoz of yr merajuk blog & yr stupidity, my cousin Jeffrey lost AUS$5 million deal. I hope you’re happy, RestlessButterfly. G'bye.”

Transaction in normal English
“Because of your sulky blog and your stupidity, my cousin Jeffrey lost AUD5,000,000-deal. I hope you’re happy, RestlessButterfly. Goodbye.”

English Translation: MERAJUK
Indonesian           Merajuk               Petulant, Sulk
Malay                  Merajuk               Hurt, Sulky

And I received this text message just now at 11:14:25pm 30-11-2009.

"My cousin wants to talk to your boss about the AUS$5million lost deal. Do you know that Katrina's company is his business rival? LeBroy & Estolas clans don't mix well in business."

My answers:-
1. NAY! Not because of my sulky blog but because of your nasty blog. You all had been nonstop blogging about me, telling lies about me and bragging about yourself in your blog. You damaged your reputation (if you have any), not me.
2. NO! Not because of my stupidity but because of your (all of you) immaturity. And is there’s really a lost, sure as heck it’s not because of me, but because of your stupidity.
3. Oh... come on, none of you're not that real here on XANGA, even the profile picture also a face of total stranger! Don't you dare to blackmail me! Get a life... a real life!
NOW, stop sending me these silly messages. This is a heavy accusation, brother, if you really have a valid case against me, sue me! SUE ME! Or else shut up because I've enough of your nonsense and senseless accusations. I'm tired of this sicko business. I'll show you the original text messages together sender name as soon as I can manage and I'll drop by at police station as soon as I can get away from my work to make a statement as per self precaution.

Sunday, 29 November 2009

THANKS!!!

Exhausted!!! But I’m glad to be back to the world of internet. I’ll not update my blog until I finished visiting and commenting those who had visited and commented in my blog. I'll visit your blog ASAP. Thank you. you.

Thursday, 26 November 2009

BYE

GOOD BYE!

Wednesday, 25 November 2009

4

I hate saying goodbyes. I wish we can start all over again. I wish we can undo all the painful and heartbreaking moments. Let them be a lesson for all of us. I've regret all the things I've said and done that caused so much pain. I am a human. To human is err, but it's not an excuse to do harm and error. You're a human... with love, with life, with emotions, with compassion, with mstake and error.

Lost and confused.
Have nowhere to go.
Have no onve to talk to.
Don't know where to go?
Or, what to do?
No way out.
She can't fine a way out.
She's still running.
Keep running...

4 THINGS YOU CANNOT RECOVER
MY PERSONAL LIFE THINGY
~DEEP SIGHS~ Tired! Their flight was delay last night. They supposed to be arrived at 10:50pm 24-11-09 at LCCT. They finally arrived at 12:40am 25-11-09. And my sister Ellen just arrived from Sarawak just now. Her flight arrived at 10:50pm. They will be in Kuala Lumpur till 30-11-09. I guess I’m quite till 30-11-09 then. My brother Alek, his wife Juliet, their son Jayden and my sister Ellen – tonight they’re staying at Noamie (Jue’s mother) house. Noamie finally show up after I been called and texted her countless times and take them away.

Juliet-Jayden-Rolland A Jayden